Could you be loved, and be loved?….

Quote of the day:

“What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful.”

-Scott Westerfeld

 

How many of you wake up look in the mirror on a daily basis and are satisfied with who you are, with how you look? With a growing interest in personal image in today’s society, do you feel that you “fit” into the ever increasing standards? How many of you feel the need or pressure to do whatever it takes to be “attractive”? How many of you would rather be deemed one of the “pretty people” than be deemed not good enough?

 

I’m not sure how or when the views and ideas of being attractive changed so drastically. I am no stranger to the battle of the dream image and what reality was. It’s never easy accepting what you look like and being happy with yourself as a whole. Now a days, it seems people are never satisfied with their looks, and why should they be with so many ways to “improve” yourself. I have been on both sides of the grass and let me tell you neither side is greener. When I was “heavy” there were so many things that made everyday life unpleasant. Something as simple as getting dressed turned into an emotional battle. Finding something that fit comfortably and looked cute rarely coincided. I always felt uncomfortable dressing womanly because I was heavy. I usually ended up throwing on a baggy shirt and some sweats. Being over weight beyond health issues makes you feel as if you are some sort of circus act and people were always watching, judging.

 

When I was “skinny” I found some relief but not much. Sure I found it easier to find and fit into clothes. I felt better in the sense I was not worried about my health but found little relief in not feeling like a circus freak. The amount of negative attention I received from men and woman was astonishing. Men wanted nothing more than to sleep with me or make me a trophy girl. Women despised me because I was thinner than they were or because I was friends with boys they dated and or liked. It was hard for me to always shrug off the opinions of others when they were made so very clear. I found that some of my close guy friends only started to talk to me because they wanted to sleep with me. When they found out I’m not the type to sleep around or the type to mix up friends with pleasure they would distance themselves from me. It was not fun feeling like a piece of meat that was hated for no real justifiable reason.

 

As the years passed and I gained more confidence in who I was a person it was easier to be ok with what my image was. It was also easier to make and keep friends who liked me for me and not what I looked like. I still struggle from time to time I’m not perfect nor do I strive to be. I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably never “fit” into what society thinks I should be, and I am so ok with that! I love who I am as a person and love who I’m growing up to be. Once I let go of all the should-a would-a’s I felt relief and a sort of calm. I know not every one will think I’m attractive and I’m ok with that. I learned that loving yourself and your body is one of the first steps to being confident. You don’t have to be super model skinny to be pretty. You don’t need others approval of what you look like. All you need is to just be happy with who you are. It seems so crazy to me now that I have come through all this to see that it has always been up to me. I really truly feel for everyone who is struggling with this and surprisingly it’s not only women; there are lots of men out there that are just as insecure and unhappy with their appearance. Acceptance of yourself unfortunately is not an over night process, however it is one of the best things you can do for you!

 

So folks my challenge to you is this: realize that no one is perfect and society does not have all the answers! Really work on accepting what you were blessed with. I think its more than time people start practicing what they preach and that is beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are not comfortable with yourself, how can anyone else be comfortable with you? Ru Paul said it best (for those of you who aren’t familiar with this person she is a famous drag queen, and yes I said she!) “If you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” No truer words have been spoken, so get up off your butt go look and the mirror and tell yourself everyday until you believe it I’m ok, I love myself, and more importantly I’m worth something!!

Thanks for reading,

positively absolutely crazy woman

 

 

Bright lights, kind city….

Quote of the day:

“The great big city’s a wondrous toy just made for a girl and boy”

 -Lorenz Hart-

 

As you might have read, we recently moved to a new state. While visiting family for the holidays we took a trip into the city. I must say I was rather blown away. Every, well almost every city I have visited people were hustling along too busy to stop or apologize for nearly running someone over. The city we had the pleasure of visiting however was very different.

 

It was a very cold and rainy day; surprisingly people were polite and courteous considering the weather. If I or someone bumped into one another “excuse me” or an “I’m sorry” shortly followed. While a member of my family held the door for us and another group that fallowed, I actually heard a thank you from the gentleman that passed through the door after us. Do not get me wrong it was not as if the streets were flooded with these good Samaritans who were polite and kind. I was merely pleased and found it refreshing to see proof of what I have been writing about.

 

I’m not sure why, but this city appeared to be different from the others. Beyond the fact that the people were pleasant, the whole city felt warm and inviting. From the street vendors who would give a warm smile to passing families, to the gentleman letting children pet the horses for his carriage. There was no shortage of kindness. It goes to show you that being courteous and kind will go a long way. The fact that the people were as nice as they were is what set this city apart from the rest in my mind. So now that I have proof that one, I’m not crazy (well maybe a little), and two that common courtesy is not as hard as people make it out to be. I wouldn’t go as far as to say the people of this city are the only reason why I would return, but they are definitely a major reason why.

 

The best part about all of this is that it really affirmed and inspired me, even more, to keep doing what I’m doing. Only time will tell if I can make an impact in peoples everyday life, but get ready because I do not plan on going anywhere anytime soon. I plan on doing my part to make this world a better place. I believe it is long over due for someone to stand up and say its time we let our guard down towards our fellow man. It is time to try to be a better person not just for yourself, but for your community as well.

 

So folks my challenge to you is this: the next time you visit somewhere big city or not, be kind, be courteous. Open doors for people, say thank you if that kindness was bestowed upon you. Who knows by doing so it could enhance your time and experience in this new place. I know its not always easy stepping out of your comfort zone but I promise it will make you feel like a whole new person. I won’t say it will be life changing but it will certainly be the start of something good.

 

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman

Holy shit, change!?!?!?……

Quote of the day:

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.

 -Charles Kettering

Life is ever changing; we are ever changing as people. I’m sure if I could go as far as to say cave men were all about bettering themselves. The idea would not be so far fetched right? Maybe? Point being, no matter if you’re the type of person that reinvents themselves as much as possible, or the don’t fix it if it aint broke kind of person. Change is not always a bad thing, too much change can also have a negative impact on your life. Finding a balance is always easier said than done.

Changing your way of life or your outlook does not have to be the big deal that often time’s people make it into. No where in the history of the “humans reinventing themselves rule book” does it say that turning over a new leaf has to be a huge process. You can tip-toe into change, or you can take a running leap. The important thing is do whatever you’re comfortable with. People tend to put so much pressure on themselves to be in with the trends or what’s hot for the next five seconds. Why not worry about how to improve you for YOU?

Recently I have tried to just be more positive in my everyday life. Now that I have, I don’t know why I have not tried this sooner. I could not believe how easy and, more importantly, how good it made me feel. I thought to myself really? That’s all? Well ok then lets do this more often woman! People tend to fear the unknown and fear change. Speaking from experience I was NEVER a fan change or changing myself, I WAS one of those don’t fix it if it aint broke kind of people.

What I learned from all this is it’s never too late to try something new and all the better if it’s out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to jump in head first, start small and work your way up. I have noticed people like myself find it easier to become open to change this way. By trying something new and reinventing yourself you have a greater opportunity to grow as a person. This will also help you to experience something different than you’re used to. By doing so, you might come across someone who has experienced something similar, or someone who is having trouble doing something similar (BAM the ripple effect is now in motion).

So folks my challenge to you is to get out into the world and try something a little out of the ordinary. If you put yourself out there to receive good, good will come. Who knows, in doing so you might find people who will make you say, “How on earth did I live in this world without these people in my life?” You’ll never know unless you try! Be positive and open to change and opportunity will come your way and since I have already bet both my shoes I bet my husbands left shoe, good things will happen.

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman

It takes a village…..

Quote of the day:

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. 

~Neil Postman

 

I’m sure most if not all of you have heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Growing up you don’t realize how true this saying is, or how it varies for each and every person. Funny thing, as I grew up, I had always thought the saying was silly. The way I had always viewed raising a child was, the responsibility laid on you and your significant other and that’s all (this was also before I had children). For the two years I helped raise my sisters children, whenever a topic came up about raising them or punishment etc she would always end up saying, “You don’t have children so don’t fully understand what its like!” Oh my golly gee willickers did that aggravate me (again this was before I had children).

 

Finally, I was blessed enough to get married and now we have a son to call our very own. I did not fully understand what responsibility truly was until that point. How my world and views of it changed. To try to put it into words, even the most patient person would throw in the towel.  I suddenly understood what my annoying sister was saying and I had so much more respect for her as a mother. Not only was she a mother of three, she was a mother of three and doing it alone. I had so much more respect and understanding of my parents as well. I then realized how much I was parenting like them (which I will never repeat again). I realized that nothing in this world was more important to me than my husband and my son. What I had yet to find out was how much the saying I thought was so silly would become so true in my life.

 

My husband and I are young, got pregnant lightning fast, and got married almost as fast. We had not the slightest clue how to be a family. I had no idea what is was to be wife, let alone a mother it was scary as hell. Luckily we had so many people in our life that jumped right in and helped every step of the way. Sometimes the help even though had the best intentions, drove us a little batty. None the less, I can not tell you how we would have made it this far with out every one backing us up. The best part about it is that it’s not only family that comes together to help its friends, neighbors, and the community in general.

 

What people fail to see is that being a village does not just consist of family and friends or even the community. For that matter, it’s the group homes in every community helping raise the children who have been hurt and forgotten about. Its all the boys and girls clubs that provide a safe environment for kids to play, bond, and lean. It’s anyone, anywhere who bands together to help either one person or groups of people to grown and nurture their young ones.

 

We recently just moved out of state and quite far from our village. It has been so wonderful to realize that we are forming our very own village here in our new town. It has been truly inspiring to see how fast it is forming as well. Not only that, but how willing and loving people have been from the start. This brings me to my challenge there is no shame, or harm in needing help. Kids are always changing and evolving and if parents had all the answers let me be the first to say this world would be a very different place (I’d bet both of my shoes on that!). Like I have been saying kids are our future, and yes it is the parent’s job to teach their kids but sometimes we need, for lack of a better word, backup. So get out there be involved in your community, get involved with kids some way some how and I promise it will change your life!

 

So folks I challenge you to step back and look around your community. I’m sure you will find someone (or lots of someone’s) who could use a helping hand in their “village”.

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman

 

  

 

 

  

Knock Knock….

Quote for the day:

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.
- Brian Vaszily

 

Some one once told me there is good in everything you do and is ALWAYS around, you just have to look for it. I thought about this over the years and for a long time I kept coming back to the same thought if it’s everywhere why should I HAVE to be looking for it to see it? And then I realized what they meant you can find the good in almost anything and anyone. For one reason or another we have been taught or merely taught ourselves to gravitate to the negative easier than the positives in life. As we grow up we loose over time the excitement over a holiday or the simple joys of being outside or just being around other people your age. I know some of you who read this or should I say IF anyone reads this your first thought will go something like this: well because we have responsibilities and jobs we can not be all carefree like when we were kids. I want to know what’s wrong with finding a happy medium. Why can’t you be carefree and responsible I think it would be hard to try and do both simultaneously but like who ever said this when they said it there is a time and place for everything.

 

 

I bet my left shoe that if more people had just as much fun as the time they spent working we really could have world peace people I’m just saying! The funny thing is it’s not impossible you can have your cake and eat it to. I get it life happens and you get going through the motions and its easy to hit the auto pilot button but you’ll come to find like I have so many times that the button gets you no where fast. This is YOUR life stand up and account for it, what does a job, nice house, fancy car or all the booty in the world amount to if you’re not happy with your life? I know that each person views what’s important in their life differently than the next so I want you to really sit back and think about what matters most to you be it family, friends, money, traveling, and even booty (as long as you stay safe because if not you could end up really unhappy in life) and once you have determined what’s important sit back and really think about what makes you happy and if it so happens that these things are one in the same then go you! And the rest of this blog wont really apply to you but please read on I mean you have made it this far. If however these things are not one in the same with a little time and effort you can make them work together. Ill bet my right shoe if it does not make you just a smidge happier.

 

So folks remember it’s the small things in life that matter most! Get your life together how you see fit because if you don’t, you and every person around is going to feel it. I also challenge you to help somebody out if you know someone who is having a tough time finding balance in their chaotic life lend an ear (make sure to get it back its kind of important to you) try and offer a solution and if all else fails tell them a funny joke and help to forget about their worries for a moment.

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman

 

The ripple effect….

Quote for the day:

A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love.

-Basil

So I’m kind of excited I have really changed the things I have been posting on my personal Facebook account and it’s really awesome seeing others spreading love and positive thinking through their pages as well! I don’t think I am the only reason that others have done this but I believe that putting good things into the world creates more good things. The best part about all this is I was in a bad place shortly before starting all this i.e. this blog and being more positive in general and was really just done with everything and everyone. Then a terrible tragedy hit in Connecticut and many innocent people lost their lives…..and it was a reality check in the sense that what am I so miserable for? sure times are tough for my family but I still have my loved one, sure we are broke but we still have food in our bellies clothes on our back and a roof over our heads, sure we just moved to a new state miles and miles away from all my family and closest friends but they are a simple phone call away!

So I decided enough is enough time to change how I am feeling! time to make an effort even if it goes unnoticed! time to make this planet a little less painful and lonely and more loving and kind! I currently set up a fan page on Facebook called just spreading some positivity I don’t have a mass of followers yet but I’m working on it! I gotta say it feels good to be doing all this and I truly hope that people start to notice and follow along! I’m not doing it for attention or praise, I’m doing it because it hurts my heart see what goes on in this world! I know that we will probably never have world peace and there will always be just plain old sick evil people in this world, but what about all the other average people? why do you feel you have to be so closed off to your fellow humans? why has it become the trend to bully and tease people instead of trying to understand and embrace them? why is it so EFFIN hard for people to just be nice?

I don’t have the answers to most of the questions above but I have a possible solution! I have a 2-year-old son and another baby on the way and I am making it my life’s work to raise my kids to be all the things that a good person should be! I will teach them the importance of life and the value of life as well. I will teach them that just because something or someone is different that what their used to does NOT mean its bad or wrong or should be feared! I believe the whole point to life is the journey you take through it and the choices you make along the way. I want my children to be able to look back on their lives and be able to say that they are proud of who they are and what they have done! I believe that in order for them to be able to do and say those things they need the tools and guidance to first!

So folks here is my new challenge to all of you if you’re a parent: stay active and a positive force in your kids lives don’t think oh my kids knows better or my kid wouldn’t do that. It’s your job to teach them never assume they will learn from experience or just know what to do children rely on their parents to set the trend for what life should be like and what’s right from wrong! To the people who don’t have kids this can apply to you as well: there are so many needy kids out there that need guidance and honestly someone who will just listen to them and make them feel that they are being heard and that they are a valid person! there are also so many organizations that help to make these connections possible so why not? I’m a strong believer in the children are our future and if that’s true then we better make sure these kids know how to be good people and keep this planet spinning!

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman

 

This entry was posted on December 20, 2012. 2 Comments

My marriage is better than yours….

Joke for the day:

Husband: honey we’re having company for supper

Wife: what?!?!? the house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!

Husband: I know all of that….

Wife: then why are bringing your friend over for supper?

Husband: because this poor fool is thinking of getting married!!

It’s a sad but true fact that divorce rates have been quiet high for a while now. I can say that I am happily married! but for so many out there its a very different story. There are so many things now a days that are marriage killers for example: all the celebrities who get married for 72 hours and then decide umm ya I don’t think I like enough to stay married to you. Now don’t get me wrong I’m sure….well I would hope they went into this sacred union wanting to spend the rest of their life with one another and not doing it for publicity but only they will truly know. My point is what happened to marriage being a sacred thing that you only enter into if you truly love the person your marrying and truly want to spend you life with them?

I think that we should refocus our priorities when it comes to the big leap. My husband and I got married very young and I was 6 months pregnant as well. So many people thought there is no way in hell these two kids are gonna make it….and so very many were praying for our sake and for the sake of our son we made it. After all the dust settles its on you and your partner to keep your marriage going its an everyday thing! My husband and I decided before we were married that this was it we wanted to be a family and we wanted to be with each other forever.

So folks my positive thinking for today is this whatever you reason for marrying the person you did remember: when times get tough this person is there to help get you through hard times, when you need someone there for whatever reason they are there every time, and if god forbid your thinking about ending your union remember something drew you to this person for some reason, you fell in love with them for a reason so before you throw in the towel makes sure you can walk away saying I TRIED EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT WORK and it just was not the right thing and or person for me at this time.

Always make sure your significant other stays just that! SIGNIFICANT! If you do find the ONE make sure that they know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved and cherished! Marriage is a wonderful special thing and shouldn’t be taken lightly!

SO GO OUT THERE FALL IN LOVE AND MAKE SURE ITS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL BE HURTING!

Thanks for reading

positively absolutely crazy woman